He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
