Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
