I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
