well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
