it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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