Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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