I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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