Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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