Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dignity is for republicans.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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