I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
