I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
this will be a night to untag.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
