I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
