Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.

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  (317): I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure. http://tfl.nu/rujq
  Replies (23) Good night (717) Bad night (4270)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore

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  (502): I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore http://tfl.nu/n25p
  Replies (37) Good night (6591) Bad night (1332)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.

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  (716): I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one. http://tfl.nu/p9u2
  Replies (5) Good night (1110) Bad night (3925)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.

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  (405): I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover. http://tfl.nu/6z33
  Replies (6) Good night (1784) Bad night (608)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.

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  (405): I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday. http://tfl.nu/si72
  Replies (6) Good night (1914) Bad night (620)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie

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  (612): Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie http://tfl.nu/901f
  Replies (4) Good night (2471) Bad night (765)
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  (925): View more from California

  i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.

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  (925): i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year. http://tfl.nu/zp0f
  Replies (3) Good night (1296) Bad night (837)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.

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  (402): I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham. http://tfl.nu/kvkl
  Replies (3) Good night (1413) Bad night (631)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.

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  (847): Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing. http://tfl.nu/45r1
  Replies (1) Good night (901) Bad night (357)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.

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  (956): I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her. http://tfl.nu/jxh9
  Replies (5) Good night (1156) Bad night (368)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"

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  (502): Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights" http://tfl.nu/0e71
  Replies (1) Good night (803) Bad night (391)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  I want to change all my life goals to that.

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  (678): Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans. (1-678): I want to change all my life goals to that. http://tfl.nu/4r6x
  Replies (3) Good night (555) Bad night (290)
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  (914): View more from New York

  It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.

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  (914): It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back. http://tfl.nu/4sgh
  Replies (1) Good night (181) Bad night (599)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  wanna come over? I have movies.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  sure, what movies

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  porn or disney, your choice

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  (717): wanna come over? I have movies. (814): sure, what movies (717): porn or disney, your choice http://tfl.nu/qsvh
  Replies (4) Good night (1060) Bad night (210)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans

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  (570): Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans http://tfl.nu/4qeg
  Replies (1) Good night (377) Bad night (702)

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