Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  He has that thing where they hang SUPER low

  (650): View more from California

  Ewww!! Elephantitis

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  (313): He has that thing where they hang SUPER low (650): Ewww!! Elephantitis http://tfl.nu/rmok
  Replies (7) Good night (846) Bad night (1384)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog

  (716): View more from New York

  do you not see the irony in that??

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  (619): you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog (716): do you not see the irony in that?? http://tfl.nu/h8wi
  Replies (73) Good night (16448) Bad night (1363)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!

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  (702): the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry! http://tfl.nu/25bg
  Replies (32) Good night (5050) Bad night (1101)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit

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  (214): And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit http://tfl.nu/wkai
  Replies (55) Good night (3109) Bad night (1521)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes

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  (314): i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes http://tfl.nu/8fav
  Replies (17) Good night (1063) Bad night (5447)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets

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  (414): I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets http://tfl.nu/vdn6
  Replies (14) Good night (1152) Bad night (3908)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.

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  (860): Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it. http://tfl.nu/iun7
  Replies (15) Good night (1870) Bad night (4093)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata

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  (719): im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata http://tfl.nu/j3vj
  Replies (8) Good night (3438) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle

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  (610): You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle http://tfl.nu/ha8a
  Replies (5) Good night (859) Bad night (2045)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?

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  (+44): You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother? http://tfl.nu/wexu
  Replies (6) Good night (1335) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.

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  (216): I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right. http://tfl.nu/rt33
  Replies (4) Good night (1164) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.

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  (609): I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains. http://tfl.nu/mhck
  Replies (2) Good night (445) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions

  (1-928): View more from Arizona

  Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.

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  (928): You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions (1-928): Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit. http://tfl.nu/mpos
  Replies (1) Good night (902) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  We're like a dynamic duo.

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.

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  (647): We're like a dynamic duo. (1-647): Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud. http://tfl.nu/eexc
  Replies (4) Good night (924) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.

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  (609): If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days. http://tfl.nu/rcu1
  Replies (0) Good night (622) Bad night (281)

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