I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
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Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
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The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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