Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize