The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
