found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
