so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
