Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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