This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize