how can u be prego again
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
