His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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