ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This is classic penis vs brain.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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