Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
