Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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