Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
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I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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