I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
