His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
