Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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