man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
