This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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