She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
