In the future we'll all be gay
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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