sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
