never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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