I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
