i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
