You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
