I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
