At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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