If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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