Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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