I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
