Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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