my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
