.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
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i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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