we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
