Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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