Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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