I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
