Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
