I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
