Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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