Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
