is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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