you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And my parents said I crawled through the house
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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