Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
