I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
