my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize