I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
